So, I'm running a little late this morning but not too bad. Nothing anybody's going to notice and I can easily make it up at the end of the day. But I am in a rush so I grab my keys, slip on the pair of shoes by the door, which I haven't worn yet this week because it's been rainy and they get soggy, and make the dash to the car in the 35 degree cold.
Of course when I get to the railroad crossing there is a long slow moving frieght train and the heat is taking forever to kick in but I don't panic. These things happen.
By the time the train has passed the heater has gotten hot and at some point before I get to the interstate I flip it from defrost to the setting where it heats your feet.
And then the smell starts. It's a particularly nasty musky scent with acrid overtones and as long as I've possessed cats I have no idea why it takes me a minute to identify it. "Oh great!" I mutter, "One of the neighborhood cats has peed in my vents."
My feet are warm now and I turn the knob back to defrost instead of blowing right at me so that I won't have that stink right in my face but curiously the smell goes away. I change the setting again so that it blowing right on me and there isn't a trace of pee. With a sinking dread I switch it back to my feet and pretty much as soon as the hot air starts flowing the stench is back..
Tanner has peed in my shoes.
Go back and change? No, I'm too far there has to be another way.
I've got Febreeze in my desk! But will it work? And if it does my feet will be damp all morning.
Ah! The Dollar General store will be open by the time I get to that exit. I'll just run in and get some cheap sneakers!
They don't have any in my size but they did have some okay looking clogs and six for a dollar knee highs so after waiting in line behind a woman who has managed to spend nearly $100, mostly it looks like on baby wipes, I'm soon standing on the freezing concrete in my bare feet in the parking lot sealing my old shoes and socks into the shopping bag the new ones came in and then washing my feet with a wet wipe left over from a drive through run to the local BBQ place before putting on my new purchases. I'm on my way!
Except I never get off the interstate here in the mornings anymore. I used to do it all the time to stop at the Micky D's but since I can't eat there anymore I'm out of the habit. I only stop in the evenings on my way home to run by this same store. So before I realize what I'm doing I'm on the on ramp HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.
The next exit is 8 miles away so a 16 mile round trip later I'm back where I started before I got off the interstate with a 15 minute drive left to get to work.
I finally made it. ONLY an hour late.
The universe is laughing at me.